When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.
Seek help from someone that can help you. This would be a counselor. You need to get the alcoholic into counseling as well. Abusive behavior can come because of the alcohol, but there may be another issue that triggers the abuse when the person is drinking. They may not even know what it is or how to control it. A counselor can help you both talk through the situation and help find a way to stop the abuse. You need to do this to protect yourself, the kids and even the alcoholic.
If they do not want to attend counseling, you should go yourself. You may find out that there are some things that you can do to avoid triggering the abusive behavior. This seems like a lot of work since you are not the one with the abusive behavior or the drinking problem, but you need to do it. When you are in counseling, you can learn what to do to protect yourself and where you can go if you need an escape. If you have any fears or other issues, you can talk your way through them with the help of a counselor.
Do not take the abuse. This could lead to more abuse and it could escalate. Just because the person only slaps you once is still not acceptable. Most cases of drunken abuse start with a slap and could lead to serious abuse that could lead to serious injury or death. You cannot just ignore any abuse no matter how small the issue. If it starts, chances are it will not stop until something is done about it. You cannot live in fear. If you live with an alcoholic, you already have enough to worry about and abuse does not have to be one of those issues.
Call the police if the abuse does not stop. The police can remove the party from the home and will not allow the person to return for at least seventy-two hours or sooner if you drop it. You can take this time to talk with the person and see what they plan to do about the problems. They are the only one that can make the change. You have to be firm and not agree to the person coming home until they agree to make changes and counseling should be top on that list.
Never agree to forgive the person the next day because they apologize. This is just another way of enabling the alcoholic. Forgiveness is earned and not just a bunch of words. Yes, they are going to feel remorse and be upset because they hurt you, but if you think that forgiving them right away and acting as nothing has happened, you will be in for a big surprise if you agree to forgiveness right away.
Try to keep the children away from any abusive behavior. Kids have a hard enough life growing up and they do not need to be involved in any abusive behavior. The kids should never try to help the parent that is being abused or they could become abused themselves. There are so many obstacles when you live with an alcoholic that is abusive. Sometimes, it is better to leave and move on. If the alcoholic does not get help or understand there actions, you may not be able to help them or yourself. You may have to leave and see if they take the steps needed to change.